My work hours are 8:20 to 4:05. At 7:15 my first alarm clock goes off, it snoozes 22 seconds later. At 7:25 the sound of robots singing Disney songs at karaoke fills the air; this is my second alarm clock, it requires me to get out of bed and goes off 4 minutes later. From 7:30 to 7:45 I am awake. I proceed with: toast, one slice of; peanut butter, one evenly distributed smear of; coffee, one cup of; multivitamin, one tablet taken with water; vitamin C, also taken with water. I finish this with news headlines—three parts “death of the environment,” two parts “White House knew all along,” one part “Michael Jackson touches little boys”—and its time for a quick shower and a power walk to school.

8:15 arrive at school and sit. 8:20 teacher’s meeting…still sitting. 8:30 homeroom…still sitting. 4 hours until lunch, 2.5 hours of which are spent standing and delivering new vocabulary. 12:45 lunch. Two tin bowls, one tin plate, an individually wrapped piece of white bread, a small bottle of milk. Eat everything with chopsticks…including milk. 13:05 break; go home, talk to girlfriend, use non-squatty toilet. 13:45 return to school….sit. 16:05 leave with an “Otsukaresama deshita” (you worked hard, you must be tired), receive an “Otsukaresan” from the teachers who acknowledge my existence. The irony is not lost on them.

Welcome to the life of a “nine-to-fiver”…regardless of the fact that I’m an “eight-to-fourer.” Am I allowed to complain?