A bit belated…but…here is why I generally don’t like the idea of Valentine’s Day: Valentine’s Day is one of those holidays that make those with feel like they’re not special enough 364 days out of the year, and those without like they’re…well…just not special at all.

Let’s examine Valentine’s Day in respect to non-platonic relationships. As the dictionary describes the word “platonic” as being synonymous with “idealistic, utopian, and intellectual;” we are, of course, talking about something not possessing these qualities, i.e. intimate relationships. Intimate relationships are rarely what you’d call “utopian,” buuuuut you get to have sex once in a while, soooo…you know…who wants utopia anyway? When I was in a relationship, I tried to never take it for granted, knowing that skinny, intellectual types with high standards rarely suffer a profusion of romantic prospects in their life. Therefore, we would go out to dinner often, and I would buy flowers time to time…you know, to create an atmosphere of romance. (Plus neither of us liked to cook, and the flowers were only, like, five bucks. …Statements like these may be why my ex-girlfriend refuses to agree with my declaration that I am a romantically inclined person). Then Valentine’s Day rolls around, and all the sudden flowers and dinner aren’t good enough. “Flowers and dinner? Again!? We do that every week. You are SO unromantic!” she thinks/exclaims/carves into your chest.